all my heroes are weirdos

We're All Mad Here

The Mindful Experiment

They say strange things happen on Friday 13th

I had taken the day off work for some of my favourite things; bicycles, bagels and blogs.

I woke up and nothing seemed particularly different. The pond water outside my window was still trickling, the birds were chirping in the trees, the sun was rising up over frosty lawns and I could hear the faint whirring of traffic as I lay there all cosy and smug underneath my big duvet knowing my out of office was on and I wouldn’t be joining the morning commuters today.

I brushed my teeth. I hurled a coffee down my neck. I had a shower.

I put on my cosy-but-cute pale mint woolen jumpsuit, a pale blue and white striped Ralph Lauren shirt with my sleeves rolled up and an old over-loved tan leather Michael Kors watch, so tatty it could be classed as vintage.

I draped Ronald, my oversized Ugandan cow satchel, over my left shoulder, slipped on my outrageously impractical cream fluffy pumps and added a token pair of circular pink-lensed sunglasses.

I was somewhere between Patsy Stone and Jimmy Saville but I felt good and I was ready for my day of freedom. So off I went on the seat of my two-wheeled wonder to my favourite brunchspot in Liverpool, no the world- The Bagelry.


I was pedalling through Sefton Park when it happened – somewhere between the small lake and my favourite stepping stones where the blossom trees were getting ready for their springtime burst into a leafy state of candyfloss.

A lightning bolt was sent down from the Gods of Sortyerlilfeout and it hit me.

It struck my skull, right in the centre, and a bright light shone down inside. A fire swirled around my stomach and a flurry of thoughts danced around my head.

I was curious and alive. And I wanted answers to everything from the inside out.

There were shockwaves rippling through my body and my eyes were seeing things differently. Everything was vivid. Everything was zoomed in. Everything was calling out for my attention.

I was noticing microscopic details and having microscopic thoughts.

A crescendo of events had led me there. A thunderous build up of things, thoughts and feelings had paved the way for this vividly peaceful moment and I stopped my pedalling to acknowledge the loud silence of it all.

I didn’t even know it then, but I do know it now. This was the start of everything, this was the start of waking up.


When I reached The Bagelry, I plonked myself on a red wooden chair in the corner, ordered myself a V60 filtered coffee and got out my notebook.

I started scribbling things down at serious speed. Thoughts, questions, observations. I was noting down the microscopic details of everything I’d witnessed since my eyes had opened and I’d regained a conscious state.

I thought about how I felt when I lay there under my covers knowing that I was about to enjoy a three-day weekend. I thought about brushing my teeth – what is fluoride, where does it come from, surely it’s not good for us?

My bicycle. Pedalling my way here I wondered how many carbon footprints I didn’t tread? How many calories I burned? And what actually it is about sitting on a saddle and pedalling through parks that makes me feel like I’m the happiest person on the planet?

What about my coffee this morning? Why did I hurl it down my neck, was it really organic and fair trade – what does fair trade really mean anyway? Where was it from and how many hands had it passed to get to my lips?

What about these bagels, these deliciously addictive bagels, how are they made? And note to self – always smile in the mirror after anything that contains sesame seeds.

Eggs. What does free range mean and why do we find it normal to eat animal embryos? Sauerkraut, where have you been all my life? What are you and how did you become so popular in Germany?

I had so many questions, I think I could have crashed Google if I’d even attempted to look for answers. So instead, I just carried on going about my day.


I found the whole thing a little bit fun and a little bit mind-blowing. I was conducting the ultimate mindful experiment and unbeknownst to me, it was changing my life forever.

There were instant changes to my mindset and behaviour.

Plans for a leisurely afternoon of shopping where I’d normally only leave when I could no longer carry my bags, turned into a mindful and purchaseless browse. My actions became more reasoned than ever.

I’d unconsciously fallen into a state of absolute consciousness and the story began unfolding from there.

The more I reflect on it all, the clearer it becomes.

My mind was beginning to open up to a deeper state of reality. I was listening to my body and it was steering me in the right direction.

Opportunties were quite literally falling into my lap.

People were crossing my path with purpose; they had things to say and I was ready to listen to them, well to it, to the truth.

I’m not the only one this has happened to or thinking this way. In fact, the more people I meet, the more I realise there’s a path and we’re all joining it one by one.

There’s this tidal wave of consciousness sweeping the planet. It’s a conscious revolution.

It’s a revolution that’s been whispered out for years by a few. My brother got here a long time ago – years and years before I did, and I although I never doubted him, I just wasn’t ready for it back then. But now I am and now I’m listening.

The internet has consciousness it in its grasp and it’s not letting go; questions are being answered and truths are being revealed at the click of a button.

None of this is coincidence. All of this is Fate.

Next Post

Previous Post


  1. Ana Daksina 27 January 2019

    Freakin’ AWESOME! Reblogging to my sister site Timeless Wisdoms

  2. Zeno The Stoic 28 January 2019

    How does one stop dull banality from intruding? Jobs, hospital appointments, gas bills, the Taxman. Probably by going off grid. County Donnegal, the Canadian wilderness, Alaska. It ought to be possible to awake in Central London but sometimes it feels a little unlikely.

    • allmyheroesareweirdos 29 January 2019

      I know what you mean and right now I’ve taken myself out of “the real world”, swapping corporate life for a conscious adventure. I may be returning to it soon – potentially in Hong Kong which is quite possibly one of the fastest-paced cities in the world and I do wonder how that will impact my mindfulness. However, I do believe that true appreciation for the present moment, for the details, comes from within and once you’ve opened up to this level of consciousness, it will be difficult to revert back to a mindless life!

      • Anonymous 29 January 2019

        I left investment banking in 1992. I worked in Tokyo, Hong Kong, Singapore, London and Zurich. I have worked for myself ever since and reckon I am pretty mindful. Disappointingly existential anxiety has never left me although I’m still working on it. I think some people are simply born with the sort of brain which does not have such worries.

      • allmyheroesareweirdos 29 January 2019

        Wow – incredible experiences living around the world! And I’d not really heard the term existential anxiety before, it’s been adding to my never-ending Googletabathon..

  3. natashaJames 30 January 2019

    Really enjoyed reading this, thank you.

  4. Jonathan Caswell 31 January 2019

    It wasn’t what I expected…happily! Very erudite, in its own way—I like your mind! Word Press isn’t listed among your share buttons…may I copy and paste it onto BY THE MIGHTY MUMFORD, my word Pres blog, which you gaciously visited recently?

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

© 2023 all my heroes are weirdos

Theme by Anders Norén

%d bloggers like this: