all my heroes are weirdos

We're All Mad Here

Here i roamed in my clogs

Our cheeks were rosy, our noses cold. Rain was pattering down gently onto passing umbrellas and the air was so icy we could see our breath in it. There were juletræer on every corner and holly wreaths on every door. Bakery windows were steaming up with the warmth from the taste-bud-torment that lay inside.

We followed the smells of coffee and brunsviger along the narrow cobbled streets lined with pastel-painted cottages, and turned right onto Vintapperstræde, where a flying carpet of fairy lights danced above our heads. All we could hear was the shuffling sound of almonds being tossed over an open fire. Christmas had arrived in Odense.

To Travel Is To Live

Since spending hours wandering around the hometown of one of the world’s most well-known storytellers, my fingers have been itching to pick up a digital pen and write. Hans Christian Andersen made it his one mission in life to entertain and educate through the words he wrote, and I hope that one day mine will do the same. So, while the world locks down and borders remain closed, I’ll take you on an adventure with me as I turn a foreign land into a home.

It’s been six months and there’s already so many things I love about Denmark. The unlocked bicycles, the zillion-calories pastries, the cosy coffeeshops. The way they throw “hygge” in front of words to describe a concept that only a Dane (or honorary Dane) could ever understand.

I love the way they decorate their shop windows and how they’re not boarded up by shutters at night. Consumerism closes down around three o’clock on a Saturday afternoon and doesn’t open back up until ten on a Monday. Sundays are for big walks in the woods or along the fjord. Everything is about family, friends and togetherness, and any day of the week seems like a reason to celebrate.

Festivities are really taken seriously here and they’ve definitely got their fair share of strange ones. Apparently, if you’re 25 and “still” single, your mates take you into the street and pelt you with cinnamon. If you’re single at 30, it’s pepper. God knows what I would have got, had I been here for my 35th birthday earlier this year – mace, maybe?

Another odd custom is fastelavn, when, traditionally, a black cat would be put in a barrel and people would whack the hell out it with a stick until the cat fell out. Something about warding off evil spirits. Fortunately, nowadays, the cat has been swapped for sweets.

Christmas in Denmark is a big deal, and I can’t wait to experience my first jul. Since mid-November, the shop windows have been covered in fairy lights and baubles and, as the nights continue to draw in, the streets are full of people sitting outside under starry skies, covered in blankets and drinking gløgg.

One of my favourite things about this place though, has to be that whenever it rains, there always seems to be a rainbow. To me, it’s a reminder that The Idol, my Grandma, is always with me in spirit, encouraging me to write, and it’s a reminder that even when the skies are grey, there’s always something to smile about.

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2 Comments

  1. Yernasia Quorelios 22 November 2020

    ON PAM (PERCEPTION ATTITUDE MINDSET)

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ A Treatise On Success and The FUTILITY!!! of WEIGHT LOSS!!!

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON OUR FASCINATION WITH THE ‘SUCCESS’ OF OTHERS

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ◇ A Lot of Misery is a 💯 Direct 😤😡🤬Consequence of The Jealousy and Envy We Harbour and Hoard for Other People; there is Much Pressure To Be SomeThing Ever So Different like Rebel Wilson Misguidedly and Ignorantly Encouraging Anorexia and Bulimia when, clearly, Rebel WILL!!! Blow Out Again as a Fatty, Fatty, Fat, Fat which is why SHE!!! was SO ‘SUCCESSFUL’ as an Actress

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

    ON ROLE MODELS

    ♡ What Kind of a Message is Rebel Wilson Sending to Former Fellow Fatties who SHE!!! No Doubt WILL!!! ReJoin soon; it’s Crystal Clear Clarity that The Weight Loss Industry is just as Financially Oriented as Pharmaceuticals and THE WEIGHT LOSS INDUSTRY!!! Associates, it’s Mainly Confused Ladies that ARE Sucked In To THE WEIGHT LOSS INDUSTRY!!! when it’s so, Totally, that THEIR WEIGHT!!! is ALL IN OUR HEADS and MONEY IN OUR DUMB HANDS!!! for THE WEIGHT LOSS INDUSTRY!!! and The Increased Confidence Doesn’t Last Long

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    …♡♡♡…

    ON SUCCESSFULLY BEARING WEIGHT

    My Sister asked Me why SHE!!! was Being Teased for Being Fat so I Said “Because you ARE Fat.”; so SHE!!! Bawled for a while then asked what SHE!!! should DO!!! I Suggested SHE!!! Say “I’m fat so what 🤔 ?” and SHE!!! Acquired Many New Friends, especially skinny, anorexic, bulimic boys and girls et al, ergo:

    ♡ 1. Born to Bear Being Fat is Natural
    ♡ 2. UnHealthy is UnNaturally Skinny and Ripped
    ♡ 3. Sadly Taken In by THE WEIGHT LOSS BULLSHIT!!! is UnNatural and UnHealthy

    …so I Suggest Accept Naturally Fluctuating Body Weight like any Non-Human; then Be Happy and Stress Free…there ARE Many Fatty, Fat, Fat Girls and Boys Happily Enjoying Happy Families with Amazing and Awesome OK Kids; while Sad, Skinny Singles Wallow in The Weight (pun intended) of Their MMHI (Multiple Mental Health Issues) around WEIGHT!!!…

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    …♡♡♡…

    ON SUCCESS CLASS 101

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    ♡ Only YOU!!! Decide what Successful Means to YOU!!!
    ♤ How YOU!!! Succeed is Entirely Up to YOU!!!
    ♧ Clubbing – If Others Belittle YOUR!!! Successes YOU!!! ARE PERFECTLY ENTITLED!!! and Welcome to Tell THEM!!! to VERY KINDLY FUCK OFF!!! – Clubbing

    nisi mortuus nec neque nolite vicit 🤭🤫🤐

    ◇ – Diamond Hard – ◇

    …◇◇◇…

  2. Carmel 23 November 2020

    Lovely to hear how free Denmark is What is work like

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