all my heroes are weirdos

We're All Mad Here

The Panic Attack

This month, in recognition of World Mental Health Day , I’ll be sharing 30 snippets from my book, All My Heroes Are Weirdos.

It’s a story about a lot of things; about love and life and dreams, but more than anything, it’s a story about how I lost my mind, and how I found it again – hidden where it had always been. A mind that went from one of great strength and assertion to one of complete and utter weakness; a deluded, tortured mind.

It’s about a journey I went on, a trillion serendipitous moments that on their own look like a series of tiny coincidences, yet, as the story unfolds, every star emanates in the form of a character, a glance, a smile, a word uttered, a move made, a feeling felt and all play a role in this clever little script that is life.


My jaw was locked. My lips were stretching out from side to side, tearing themselves apart and every muscle in my neck was clenched so hard I thought they might snap. My breaths were short and sharp. I seemed to be breathing in without breathing out, my throat was closing over. It was as though my mouth couldn’t keep up with my lungs and I was choking for air. 

My mangled mind was chewing the cud of his evil words and just like the seven stomachs of a cow it was regurgitating them over and over and over, reliving the pain of every semantic dagger as it pierced my heart.

I felt dizzy and I could barely see. A fever was taking over. My whole body was frozen stiff and shaking rigorously. I was soaked, fear flooding out of every pore and sadness gushing down my petrified face as I stared back at him, my eyes screaming for him to save me.


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