all my heroes are weirdos

We're All Mad Here

Solsbury Hill

It’s a balmy autumn evening in London and we’re sat in the beer garden of The Crabtree pub in Fulham.

The sun is setting over the River Thames behind us and music is playing out of the speakers hidden amongst the trellises and fairy lights above our heads. People are cheering, glasses are clinking and happiness is in the air.

Our legs are pressed against each other and his arms are around me, holding on to me tightly. We’ve always laughed that close never feels close enough.

He takes a sip of his beer and turns his face towards mine, then he reaches his lips upwards towards the sky and kisses me on the forehead.

“That means you adore me,” I say to him with raised eyebrows and a flirty smile, “It’s true – I read it in a magazine”.

He tries to hide his grin but his dimples give the game away.

He looks at me with an expression I’ve never seen before, then leans forward and kisses my forehead again – his lips lingering a little longer this time. And when he resumes his position, he pinches my left shoulder three times.

We both know exactly what those three pinches mean.

Those three pinches represent three words; the ones he’s said before but doesn’t remember saying. The ones I’ve heard him whisper silently with every glance and every touch for almost a decade. The ones I think almost every minute of every day but never quite find the right moment to turn them into spoken words.

He tells me he likes the three freckles that sprinkle themselves on my cheekbones every summer. He says he loves the way my eyes change colour depending on my mood and that his favourite is bright turquoise, because that means I’m happy.

He knows that I play with my fingers when I want to say something I know I shouldn’t. He says it’s cute the way I bite my bottom lip when I’m feeling shy and how I roll it up when I’m sulking.

He likes that I’m unpredictable and he loves that we never stop laughing.

We’ve got everything we could ever possibly want right here in front of us.

Absolutely everything.

Peter Gabriel ~ Solsbury Hill

Climbing up on Solsbury Hill
I could see the city light
Wind was blowing, time stood still
Eagle flew out of the night

He was something to observe
Came in close, I heard a voice
Standing, stretching every nerve
I had to listen, had no choice

I did not believe the information
Just had to trust imagination
My heart going boom, boom, boom
“Son, ” he said, “grab your things
I’ve come to take you home”

To keep in silence, I resigned
My friends would think I was a nut
Turning water into wine

Open doors would soon be shut
So I went from day to day
Though my life was in a rut

Till I thought of what I’d say
Which connection I should cut
I was feeling part of the scenery
I walked right out of the machinery
My heart going boom, boom, boom
“Hey, ” he said, “Grab your things
I’ve come to take you home”

Yeah, back home when illusion spin her net
I’m never where I want to be
And liberty, she pirouette
When I think that I am free
Watched by empty silhouette
Who close their eyes but still can see
No one taught them etiquette
I will show another me

Today I don’t need a replacement
I’ll tell them what the smile on my face meant
My heart going boom, boom, boom
“Hey, ” I said, “You can keep my things
They’ve come to take me home”

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