Oh Summer Solstice, thank you.
You got me out of bed at a time I’d almost forgotten to love. You made me rise before the dawn and watch the sun creep up over the horizon, drenching the world in apricot light.
You brought back that feeling, the one I’d lost for ninety days or so. That feeling of goodness, of peace and calm and serenity. That feeling of nothing but now.
You made me pay attention to the birdsong and feel grateful for the cold, wet blades of grass caressing my knees. You made me see the light without even opening my eyes.
I sat there patiently for an hour or so – inhaling in the good and exhaling out the bad. I heard every sound around me and I felt the cold morning air tickling my skin.
And as the sun rose higher into the sky, my sleeping spirit awakened.
My mind returned from its adventure and came back home to rest. One by one those negative thoughts trickled out of my ears and skipped off into the distance.
You made me want to write again.
Thank you Summer Solstice, thank you.
The Curse of the Fat Bifter-Smoking Monk
The longest day of the year seems like the perfect day to reflect on the longest three months I can remember – I haven’t just been in the boxing ring with business, I’ve been in the boxing ring with life.
And I think I know who to blame…
If I rewind back to January, I was sat cross legged in a temple, high up on the hills of Nakhon Pathom province in front of a morbidly obese monk in a scruffy orange robe who’d just finished toking on a Lambert & Butler. He was scribbling down some sort of astrological forecast for my future with a sadistic smile strewn across his round and worn out face.
I didn’t appreciate his ignorant chortle given the news I was receiving and refused to believe every word he said.
This year was not going to be more abominable than the last. I was not going to wait another year to find love and peace and happiness. I was not going to lose friends, lose my passport or misread a contract and end up in jail.
But given how the last few months have gone, I’m starting to wonder if he was right.
The Chaos Before The Calm
One promise of an exciting new job in Hong Kong falling through was what really set me off on this journey in the first place – and who’d have thought I’d have the exact same thing happen only seven months later by a different company.
So, then, after several other incidences of false hope and broken promises, I decided I was going to line my own pockets and nobody else’s. So I ventured into the start-up world – heart-first with my head following closely behind.
I can honestly say I’ve never worked so hard in my entire life.
I kept tight hold of my vision and refused to let go and I’ve done everything I can possibly do in the meantime to keep myself going financially. I’ve never given up. I’ve been stronger and more resilient than ever before.
But so many times I’ve been led down promising paths only to find out brokenheartedly that actually, they’re dead ends.
So much energy has been channelled into things that were seemingly giving me a very low return on investment. So many phone calls and meetings I’ve had around the clock, hours and hours of promising conversations that made it seem like big contracts were about to be signed, or big things were about to happen.
And amongst the chaotic fury that drove me forward, I lost my balance. I began following dreams that weren’t my own.
Here Comes The Sun
Around the world today there are dances and parades and ceremonies taking place for the Summer Solstice 2019. So many ancient rituals that look for symbolism in energy, fire and light and moving forward or reflection and slowing down.
It’s seen as a time to celebrate everything our planet has given us, to connect with nature and connect with ourselves. It’s about awakening, or reaching enlightenment, as an omnipotent symbol of ascension and the ultimate triumph of light over darkness.
The word solstice comes from the Latin words “sol”, meaning sun and “sistere”, to stand still, because the Sun’s path appears to momentarily stop before reversing direction.
And for me that’s what this year’s Summer Solstice is all about; a momentary pause and a swift rewind to get me back on the path I was intending to follow.
I’m back on Ayurveda’s watch and I’ve started the day with morning rituals that guarantee success. I’m grateful for the stomach-settling feeling of freedom. I’m happy, I’m peaceful, I’m hopeful.
I’m doing good stuff to be a better me.