The world’s most ironic coffee order at around 1600 kcals a cup.
I’ve always held strong beliefs in the fact that drinks are like air and therefore do not contribute towards nutritional intake, so there was a time when I didn’t have any issue knocking one of these bad boys back on the daily.
Well actually they do contribute, and at 80% of a woman’s RDA, I think this calorific mathematical wizardry needs to stop right here, right now.
I will literally never forget when I lost my Caffeine Virginity. It was on the fourth floor of a grand Chateau overlooking Parc Monceau in Paris. I was over there on an intense training course with L’Oréal. It was day three, I’d been working 16+ hour days on minimal sleeps. My eyes were heavy and my brain was crying out for a nap – I needed a hit.
In such a chic setting, surrounded by some of the most interesting and intelligent people I’ve ever met, dressed de la tête aux pieds in my classiest of rags, I couldn’t really stand there necking a giant can of Red Bull….
I’d been seducing the Nespresso machine with my best copulatory gaze ever since the start of the morning break.. This was my first time and I was nervous. I wandered over coyly to make acquaintance passing an almost royal presentation of delicate French pastries and fruit. With every stomp of my heel against the parquet flooring I could feel my heart start to beat a little faster..
Oh god, technology. It looked so much more complicated up close and personal… I gently stroked the top of the small metal lever by means of introduction. It was cold and felt alien to me. I picked up one of the tiny foil pots and plonked it neatly into my white porcelain cup, placed the cup into the machine and pressed the button, waiting patiently for something to happen….
Awkward as hell to start but eventually very rewarding and addictive – I guess my first time was like any other. (FYI, the foil pot goes inside the machine, not your cup). And so what started as a Parisian fling, turned out to be a five-year love affair that shows no signs of ending. Not a day passes by when Caffeine doesn’t touch my lips…
But to give my blood pressure a break and more importantly to raise money for a local children’s hospice, I’m giving up my Friday Costa treat. If you want to be a hero, here’s how to get involved: https://www.justgiving.com/fundraising/muglife
And you can learn a little bit more about the charity here: http://www.clairehouse.org.uk/